I want to live
like a sparkler,
exploding outward
with light,
burning brightly
with passion,
sheer art
at first sight.
I want to live
in the mad,
not in the
mundane,
existing
in chaos,
creation,
and flame.
I want to live
like a bath bomb
effervescent
and bright,
dissolving
in waves
like a
bubbling rite.
I want to die
like a sunset,
lavish shades
giving way,
to soft
glowing
darkness and
inevitable gray.
In the midst
of unraveling
the knots
in my heart
I discovered
the strings
were entwined
in each part
of my mind
and untying
each cord
I revealed
the light
and creativity
that had long
been concealed
Being our elders
does not exempt you
from being wrong.
It does not excuse you
from responsibility.
It does not exclude you
from consequence.
It cannot absolve you
of shame.
I mourn
for all the
minutes I’ve
wasted
worrying
whether I was
beautiful.
I’ve decided to live
exactly as I wish,
to present my true face
despite any blemish.
I’ll eat ice cream and carbs
and not care what I weigh.
I’ll disregard all that Cosmo
and my mother might say.
I’ll be far from sober,
sometimes low, sometimes high.
I’ll seek out epiphanies
and smoke weed til I die.
I’ll tattoo my whole body
and worship the moon.
I’ll stay up all night
and sleep until noon.
I’ll love unconditionally
all the parts of myself:
my art, my writing,
and the photos on my shelf.
I’ll weep when I’m moved
and laugh as loud as I can.
I’ll sing unblushingly
and be an unabashed fan.
I’ll say what I think
and give all I can give.
I’ll leave all judgement behind,
I’ve decided to live.
